I've been super busy traveling for and recovering from top surgery! I had been waiting six months for it since I scheduled the surgery date, and I'm so thrilled that it's finally done. The waiting, the paperwork, and the sending money to pay for it were more painful and difficult than the actual surgery. The anticipation was horrendous. But, now that it's done, I'm SO happy with the results. I can't wait to be able to go without bandages/gauze (I need those for a few weks while I continue to heal) and get back to exercising in a few months! I really feel amazing. I'm super excited for how good I look, and how many outfits I'll feel comfortable and happy wearing! A large part of my dysphoria is social + chest dysphoria, so this will go a long way towards me being able to go about my life feeling comfortable and seen.
I have a few thoughts on the cost of top surgery, having to pay out of pocket, and how universal free healthcare needs to happen. They mostly revolve around my distaste for my insurance probably trying to fight me on covering this (I went in expecting they won't), the amount of money surgeons choose to charge, and the entire medical system being focused on profit rather than health. I saved up a lot of money to be able to choose the surgeon who would give the results I like the most (because this is forever, after all). However, not everyone can do that. I'm just fortunate enough to be in a job that allows me to pay my rent, gargantuan student loans, and then have enough leftover to save up for five years. While I'm so happy to have been able to save up for a surgeon whose results match my wants/needs, I loathe the fact that capitalism has indoctrinated and pushed individuals to even consider profit when running their clinical practices. Obviously everyone needs to survive in capitalism, and needs to charge a minimum to do their job and live, but it's clear from rising costs of gender affirming surgeries that they're not just increasing in price due to inflation.
So, overall? Amazing experience, 10/10, I needed this desperately to become the person I long to be. And on the side, it made me think more about how we need to abolish capitalism. (Relating to "person I long to be", Maybe I'll type up my thoughts later on how I conceptualize my trans experience as “becoming Jack” rather than “becoming my authentic self”. Every trans narrative is personal, and this is mine.)