I went to the Dogwood Festival in April, and checked out some lovely art. I also ate an apple beignet, and some cinnamon apple bread pudding. They were both delicious. The next week, I headed out to the Renaissance Fair. I actually have some huge beef with the GA Ren Fest specifically. There was something that went down with them and some performers, and they didn't invite back a bunch of awesome acts. Mainly, the
Tortuga Twins. I'm a huge fan of them, and it really sucks that I'll have to drive out somewhere else this year to see them.
When I first saw them, they were intensely inspiring to me. Something seriously drew me towards Scaramouche Tortuga especially. He just had this something that I wanted to be, and that I loved. They were all charismatic, funny, sincere, and incredibly homoerotic. (All hallmarks of great entertainment, in my book.)
I made a D&D character with some inspiration from one of them, Scaramouche (his stage name), in 2018, and then returned to the Ren Fest each year to see the Tortugas. This particular D&D character, Silvio, ended up being one of my favorites. I related to him a lot. Though he was well divorced from Scaramouche when he was created, they really share a similar vibe. They're in the same family.
Lo and behold, in 2021, I realized I was a trans man! I then started growing my hair out long to live my metalhead pirate fantasy for real. I have to give Scaramouche at least some of the credit for me eventually coming out. Without the stage character of Scaramouche, I might not have realized that it was possible to be a man in that way. That is to say- irreverent, goofy, confident, sleazy, bisexual, and very effeminate.
In other news, I did a little bit of quad skating again! I've been having difficulty finding spots to skate after top surgery, and my exercise routine keeps getting interrupted by new stitch blisters popping up after top surgery. (I need to reduce activity and stop waving my arms each time one appears, and then wait for it to heal before picking activity back up again. It's really putting a damper on my Beat Saber song mastery.)
I've been watching Picard lately, and the new season is weird, but I'm a big fan of the plot with Agnes and the Borg Queen. I'm also super excited to see more of Q- he's always a delight. This past weekend, since my partner had the sewing machine out, I took some time to sew pockets into all of my shorts and pants that had super tiny ones. I think I made some of them a bit too big based on the pattern I made, but so far the quality of life improvement is worth the effort.
Lastly, I had a pretty cool experience at the local Landmark Diner. I was there really late, just having a nice date night with my partner. I ordered a melon martini (tasty!), and an awesome burger. The guy serving us (he wasn't dressed like a waiter, he seemed to maybe be the manager?) was really personable, in the way that old Italian guys are. He called me “my good friend” every time I ordered something until he figured out my gender. He then started calling me “good sir” and “man” and patting my shoulder every time he came by the table. It was incredibly gender-affirming, and it's really cool to get that sort of treatment more in daily life now.
I'm starting to see more of the little rituals and customs men tend to engage in when they talk to each other. It's a different sort of intimacy than I'm used to, but I appreciate it deeply. At my partner's Mom's work barbeque (family was invited), when saying goodbye to me, her boss did that combination hand-shake-shoulder-pat-hug thing that guys sometimes do. It didn't come naturally to me at first, but it was easy to do once I realized where he was going with it. I walked away thinking "Wow. So someone really does see me for who I am."
I know that the people close to me see me for who I am, and understand that. But a large part of my dysphoria is social dysphoria. After nine months on T, I'm finally seeing that start to be alleviated. I'm as grateful as ever for the position I'm in, the person I am, and the people I love helping me along the way.