I've had a few things happen in swift succession over these past three weeks since I've posted. My grandmother's funeral went...weirdly, quite poorly. A particular relative was rather eager to take the spotlight and overplan things. This caused the mourning family (my immediate family) to have no time to process what was happening, and barely any time to even sit and chat with the visiting family members. It was a difficult rollercoaster that gave me no time to mourn and lots of new frustrations. My sister and I had a pretty terrible time, so I'm glad it's over.
The final order for my name change came in, and I found out (at the social security office!) that they decided not to accept e-certified documents. Meaning, they basically don't care what the state says: The documents have to be stamped and physical. Thankfully, a super nice clerk on the phone offered to send me free copies. The bad part is, a week later, she sent the totally wrong documents. I managed to call her again (a challenge with a courthouse phone system) and she kindly offered to send over the correct ones. The entire legal name change process has been horrifically stressful. The US governemnt is massively disorganized, no two organizations talk to one another, and there's few resources on how to go about this sort of thing. I'm glad that I'll be over with it soon. (After that dreaded social security and then DMV visit...)
The day the social security office turned me away (I had to take a half day of work; it sucked) the rideshare driver (no parking in that area) on the way back was incredibly kind and uplifting. I was having a horrible day, and she was really sweet. She asked me what sign I was (red flag), and then upon learning I was an Aries, said "Me too! You know, we've had a rough past year, but it's going to turn around. Especially with your name change! It's your season." (green flag!) She told me that lots of Aries she knew were getting new starts- new jobs, new names, new beginnings. I don't really believe in astrology, but when people use it for positive affirmations, I can't deny that it makes me feel better.
My new job has been really awesome. I vibe with the team, I enjoy the work, and I'm proud of what I'm making. It's ironic that I kicked off the summer by getting let go, and then saying "I'm going to become an indie game developer bro!" as a joke (about my project Afflicted), and then actually got a job in indie games. The contract started relatively short, but it's looking like I'll have some steady work for at least a little while longer. I think one of the best things I've gained from this isn't necessarily more months of work, but the confidence that I can FIND work in my field with perseverance, a good portfolio, and good interview skills. When it's time to move on to the next thing, I won't just suffer and starve and die. I'll be OKAY.
And honestly, I would've been okay anyways, because my partner said she'll always support me. She wanted me to take a break if I could. However, I'm too much of a workaholic to rest for long. The protestant work ethic has been trained into me so deeply that even taking a single day off work makes me feel horrifically guilty. That's not a good thing, but it's something that keeps me alive and saving money under capitalism. And with more years of experience under my belt, I can now enjoy my choice of job offers and pick the one that's the most fun, healthiest, and has good work-life balance. All of this is largely due to my parents, the college education they helped pay for, and the tools they were able to give me growing up. It's a position of privilege for sure.
Another piece of good news is that while the BDSM dungeon I go to is closing...another one is going to open! A couple that met at the original dungeon decided they would look for a space and open their own. They want to create the same LGBT+ positive, welcoming atmosphere that the current one is famous for, and are going to get guidance from the previous dungeon owners. I really adore going there to commune with lots of other kinky queer people, so I'm thrilled that there will be another space available.
I hate to say this, but the tarot card reading my friend did while we were camping was correct. They said I would go through a rough time, possibly involving family and travel (funeral), and then I'd encounter great prosperity (I assume my new job, my freelance, my name change coming along, new dungeon). I believe in tarot and this sort of spirituality as a type of affirmation rather than a real prediction. So...it's cool that I think things are looking up, and the cards do too.